Pain in the airplane: Equipped with a parachute, a cool leather topi and a Lalita Pawar-kind of sour lime expression, a woman sky-jumps, leaving her blockhead husband to go up in flames, boom, crash, splatzzz.

Over to Karzzz, remade by director Satish Kaushik from Subhash Ghai’s Karz (1980) which was remade from The Reincarnation of Peter Proud. Down with originality, yup with re-rebirth. So is the new Zzz-grader full-on ‘time-pass’ or would it be more entertaining to water the dry October grass?

Answer: If you’re the sort to be satisfied with a tandoori music score, some guffaw-out loud moments (intentional and unintentional) and a vitamin-oozing healthy Rohini Hattangadi (mashallah) being passed off as an insomniac, starving mom, then this could be your ticket.. for want of any alternative.

Next: NRI pop singers are rocking the world. Huh? Somewhere out there in Cape Clown, blondes faint on seeing Monty (Reshammiya) on stage. More with pleasure than shock, presumably. Monty serenades Tina (not Munim, Shweta Kumar alas) at one of those hotel functions, then suffers from headaches (What! Shweta did this to him?) and sees his past life flash before his eyes in very badly edited chip-chop scenes.

Next halt: Kenya. Danny Denzongpa shows up as Pran, eager to do his daughter Shweta’s Kenyadaan. Hurry, hurry, please. Prannyy even quotes movie dialogue (later he forgets to do this, but well). Gulshan Grover is around to punch at a kinky computer screen which hasn’t been updated for 25 years. Hmm. And Asrani yaks on about his three spinster daughters who are never seen. Did even newcomers reject the roles? Hilariously, there’s a Maid Martha who vanishes into the forests. Did the lions get her?

Be that as it may, Lady Kamini (Urmila Matondkar) breathes fire and brimstone, all in violent red shades, when she understands that Mr Monty is one of those re-born heroes. Reels and reels later, Lady K and Monty fight it out in a North by Northwest airplane finale. Truly, your heart goes out to Reshammiya for his sheer bravado. He’s improved since Aap ka Surroor but of course, he has many many more miles to go. Urmila Matondkar dignifies the enterprise but far too often, Kaushik seems to make her go over the top.

As for debutante Shweta Kumar, could she please learn to stand straight and quit smiling just to advertise her dentist? And heavens, Dino Morea is restricted mostly to playing a garlanded portrait. Quite histrionic that.

On the tech front, the camerawork and set designs are like festive mithai boxes. The choreography goes gaga over blonde chorus line girls and that’s it.

So, it’s not exactly your Farzzz to see Karzzz. The outcome’s neither good, nor bad, it’s a pitch at wooing the box-office, from A to Zzzz. And from advance reports, is already on its way to do the click trick.

Rating: **1/2

Expectations from a soundtrack belonging to a Karan Johar film are straight forward - It has to be nothing but superb. With the kind of music that his films have boasted over the years (Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, Kaal, Kal Ho Na Ho, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai), there is no reason why Dostana should be any different. Add to it names like Vishal and Shekhar who truly understand the pulse of today's youth and you know that this Abhishek Bachchan-Priyanka Chopra-John Abraham starrer would boast of an entertaining soundtrack all the way.

After listening to Dostana, you know that it is not just entertaining in get-set-rocking mode. Instead it also has its moments, especially when it comes to the soft numbers (there are three of them) and this is exactly where the core strength of Dostana lies. The album has a mix of everything - from dance number to softer tracks - all of it ensuring that Vishal-Shekhar have yet another successful album up their sleeves after Bachna Ae Haseeno, Tashan and Om Shanti Om.

A love song with some unconventional lyrics by Anvita Dutt Guptan, 'Jaane Kyun' is an excellent track that gives Dostana a kick start. If the catchy tune isn't good enough, it is the singer who comes behind the mike for this youthful track, who surprises the most. He is none other than Vishal Dadlani himself who shows an entirely different facet of his personality. He is confident enough to entrust himself with the responsibility of going solo for this flagship number of Dostana and doesn't make one feel that any other singer would have done a better job with 'Jaane Kyun'. A fun number which would find immense popularity all over. A track which requires just one hearing to be classified as a chartbuster being brought to you on a platter is 'Desi Girl'. Want some 'get-on-the-dance-floors' beats? Vishal & Shekhar get it for you. Need some catchy lyrics to get on your lips instantly? Lyricist Kumaar does the job right for you. Expect the singers to get some powerful energy in their vocals? Shankar Mahadevan and Sunidhi Chauhan along with Vishal Dadlani can always be entrusted to do that. And if you thought that the feel of 'Deewangee' (Om Shanti Om) couldn't ever be matched again, then choreographer Farah Khan is just a call away. Overall, a complete package deal where absolutely nothing goes wrong! A quintessential Punjabi dance number as far as the tune and arrangements are concerned, 'Maa Da Laadla' is the next to come. However, it is the lyrics by Kumaar which makes the number special as there is a lot being conveyed in this hardcore Punjabi number. If one diverts attention away from the racy tune of this number (which is bound to make its presence felt in the discotheques and clubs) and instead delve deep into the lyrics, you would realize that 'Maa Ka Laadla', which has singer Saleem at the helm, is one fun number which would aid the film's narrative in a big way. Watch out for this one! Next comes the much hyped item number in Dostana which features Shilpa Shetty jiving along with Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham on the Miami beach. Titled 'Shut Up & Bounce', the song may sound like a routine/typical dance number but that doesn't come in the way of the potential it holds as far becoming popular in days to come. With Sunidhi Chauhan leading from the front and Vishal Dadlani providing additional vocals, 'Shut Up & Bounce' written by Anvita is all set to be an eye candy all the way, courtesy Miss Shetty and other bevy of beauties expected to dominate the frames captured on the Miami beach. Vishal and Shekhar reserve the best for the end with two extremely soothing numbers bringing Dostana to an end. First to come is 'Khabar Nahi' which is just the kind that you wish to put in a repeat mode, switch off the lights, close your eyes and expect the song to make you go for that peaceful sleep. If Vishal excelled as a singer in 'Jaane Kyun', one has to hear him in 'Khabar Nahi' where is quite good yet again. A beautiful melody which keeps you smiling away as it plays in the background, 'Khabar Nahi' is a love song written by Anvita which also has Shreya Ghoshal and Amanat Ali lending their vocals along with Raja Hasan. Shaan would indeed consider himself lucky as he is gifted the best tune and lyrics (Vishal Dadlani does an all around show in the album and also contributes with his writing) in the form of 'Kuch Kum'. A poetic track which moves at a serene pace and has in it the potential to scale the kind of height which the title song of 'Kal Ho Na Ho' did (as far as the soothing feel is concerned) 'Kuch Kum' is easily the best of the lot and is immensely likeable within first listening itself. It is a kind of number that you don't really want to over analyze and instead just hear it to enjoy it to the fullest. No wonder, it has the longest duration when compared to the rest and lasts for close to 6 minutes. Dostana is an excellent album from Vishal-Shekhar and there is not one single number which doesn't work. In fact if three soft numbers ('Kuch Kum', 'Khabar Nahi' and 'Jaane Kyun') are the pick of the lot then 'Desi Girl' is a definite must for the dance floors. 'Maa Da Laadla' and 'Shut up & Bounce' have their own place under the sun and if the film works well at the theaters (which it should), there is no reason why Dostana won't go on to match the kind of sales that the biggest albums of 2008 (Race, Singh Is Kinng, Jannat, Tashan, JTYJN) have enjoyed this year. Go for it!

****

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi ing Shahrukh Khan, Anushka Sharma,Vinay Pathak,Kajol,Rani Mukherjee,Preity Zinta,Priyanka Chopra
Director - Aditya ChopraBanner - Yashraj