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Pain in the airplane: Equipped with a parachute, a cool leather topi and a Lalita Pawar-kind of sour lime expression, a woman sky-jumps, leaving her blockhead husband to go up in flames, boom, crash, splatzzz.

Over to Karzzz, remade by director Satish Kaushik from Subhash Ghai’s Karz (1980) which was remade from The Reincarnation of Peter Proud. Down with originality, yup with re-rebirth. So is the new Zzz-grader full-on ‘time-pass’ or would it be more entertaining to water the dry October grass?

Answer: If you’re the sort to be satisfied with a tandoori music score, some guffaw-out loud moments (intentional and unintentional) and a vitamin-oozing healthy Rohini Hattangadi (mashallah) being passed off as an insomniac, starving mom, then this could be your ticket.. for want of any alternative.

It’s deliriously amusing just for taking itself so darn seriously. Like it or not, remix director Kaushik doesn’t establish a distinctive directorial signature of his own.

The enterprise looks more piloted by the production T Series. T hee? And by the sheer enthusiasm and engine power of Himesh Reshammiya. Incidentally, the composer-singer-actor is so petrified of being compared with Rishi Kapoor that he’s announced this to every Tom, Duck and Harriet.

Next: NRI pop singers are rocking the world. Huh? Somewhere out there in Cape Clown, blondes faint on seeing Monty (Reshammiya) on stage. More with pleasure than shock, presumably. Monty serenades Tina (not Munim, Shweta Kumar alas) at one of those hotel functions, then suffers from headaches (What! Shweta did this to him?) and sees his past life flash before his eyes in very badly edited chip-chop scenes.

Next halt: Kenya. Danny Denzongpa shows up as Pran, eager to do his daughter Shweta’s Kenyadaan. Hurry, hurry, please. Prannyy even quotes movie dialogue (later he forgets to do this, but well). Gulshan Grover is around to punch at a kinky computer screen which hasn’t been updated for 25 years. Hmm. And Asrani yaks on about his three spinster daughters who are never seen. Did even newcomers reject the roles? Hilariously, there’s a Maid Martha who vanishes into the forests. Did the lions get her?

Be that as it may, Lady Kamini (Urmila Matondkar) breathes fire and brimstone, all in violent red shades, when she understands that Mr Monty is one of those re-born heroes. Reels and reels later, Lady K and Monty fight it out in a North by Northwest airplane finale. Truly, your heart goes out to Reshammiya for his sheer bravado. He’s improved since Aap ka Surroor but of course, he has many many more miles to go. Urmila Matondkar dignifies the enterprise but far too often, Kaushik seems to make her go over the top.

As for debutante Shweta Kumar, could she please learn to stand straight and quit smiling just to advertise her dentist? And heavens, Dino Morea is restricted mostly to playing a garlanded portrait. Quite histrionic that.

On the tech front, the camerawork and set designs are like festive mithai boxes. The choreography goes gaga over blonde chorus line girls and that’s it.

So, it’s not exactly your Farzzz to see Karzzz. The outcome’s neither good, nor bad, it’s a pitch at wooing the box-office, from A to Zzzz. And from advance reports, is already on its way to do the click trick.

Rating: **1/2